So sorry that it has been a month!!

Day 125

Hey guys! First off I wanted to apologize to my readers about me being gone for so long. I especially wanted to apologize to my friend "Ray" for not being there for him recently due to the fact that I have been so stressed out lately.

So here is what you have missed. I ran into a girl from my past that I realized recently I wasn't being as nice to her as I could have been because I was jealous of her. I went up to her right away and apologized and told her she didn't deserve it and it was horrible of me. Luckily she accepted my apology and we have been acting like it never happened now. We message each other on Facebook all the time now just to see how the other is doing. Apologizing to her was probably the best thing I have ever done.

In other news, on 11/11/11 I went home and saw that the cat that saved my life two years ago was in and out of the bathroom, but wasn't going to the bathroom. I also noticed that when he would sit on the ground, there would be blood on it. Immediately I called the vet to make sure that he was okay, and they asked me to bring him in ASAP. Once they got there, they told me it was a bladder infection and it wasn't that big of a deal. However, then came the bad news. The vet said to me, "Does he always breathe so heavy?" I told her, "Yeah, I asked the groomer about it once and she said that it was completely normal." She responded with, "Don't ever trust your groomer." She told me she wanted to get an X-ray of his chest to make sure everything was okay, so she did. That was when she came into the waiting room very quickly and talking quickly. She showed me the X-ray of a normal cat and of Simon. Simon's lungs were barely visible. They filled with fluid and were unable to expand.

She then told me she had to drain the fluid and said that the fluid might come back. I don't remember what she said after that, but it lead me to ask the question, "Will he die?" and she responded with, "I don't know." That was it. I broke down. Simon was my life. I loved Simon more than anything. I left him at the vets office for a couple of hours for his treatment while I went to my preoperative appointment for my breast augmentation. When I was there I got a phone call telling me that Simon was much better and they were able to get A LOT of fluid out of him. They told me he seemed to be happy wand was purring a lot. After my appointment I went to the vet's office to pick him up. I brought him to my house and practically never left his side. I told him how much I loved him and that I was so thankful that he was okay.

For a couple days I kept him on a certain diet, bought him a water fountain so he would drink more, and gave him his medication three times a day. This was when I noticed that Simon had been throwing up his medication around the house. I also noticed that his breathing pattern was bad again. I called the vet and asked them if this was normal. They then made another appointment for him and asked me to bring him in. They told me that his fluid was back and that they were thinking he might not make it. They said there a series of tests including ultrasounds and X-rays that they could do to see if it is something that has a cure or not that they could run. Knowing that I love my cat more than life itself, I said...RUN IT!

Once Simon was stable, I took him to the animal hospital and checked him in. For the next several days Simon stayed in the ICU and went through some tests. I wanted to save his life, no matter how much it would cost. I came every day during visiting hours and petted him. Sometimes I was only able to see him for a moment, but it was okay with me. After all the tests were run, I got another phone call telling me that all the tests came back inconclusive and that Simon's quality of life wouldn't be a great one. They said if I kept letting him live like this he would be suffering and that eventually he might not be able to breathe on his own. I knew then, that I had to put him to sleep.

Putting Simon to sleep was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Spencer was with me the whole time, even he was on the verge of tears. I was there during the procedure. I watched them do the whole thing. He was there, and then he wasn't. After he was gone all I wanted to do was hold him. I let them take him away from me after a few minutes. They told me I could spend as much time with him as I wanted, but I knew I didn't want to end up sitting with him alone. I was already hyperventilating when the doctor was in the room, the last thing I needed was to have a complete melt down while being alone.

Simon died on 11/17/2011 ... exactly two years after he saved my life. I miss him every single day.

The next day I went in for my surgery. I was in a lot of pain for a while, and I was pretty drugged up for a while. I also spent a lot of my time mourning over Simon's death. I brought Bella, Simon's sister, to meet the rest of Spencer's pets, this way she will never have to be alone. She seems to be doing well now.

These days I have been working every moment of every day trying to finish my school projects, essays, and studying for finals. I haven't had much time to settle down. I still cry about Simon. I have NEVER felt so much love for anything.

The photo that I have put on this entry is the photo in which I intend on using in a picture box where I will hold Simon's ashes. It is the first picture that I have ever taken of Simon. This is my favorite picture because it portrays Simon in such an amazing way. He was always so curious of his surroundings. He was never shy, he just wanted love.

RIP Simon, my baby boy.