A secret I thought I wouldn't share with EVERYONE

Day 49

So I am online at Facebook.com right now talking to a great friend of mine, Gracie. She mentioned to me that she read my last entry and wanted to ensure me that I will always have here there being my friend and I can always count on her. After I thanked her, I asked her to share my blog info with her friends on Facebook. Then, she responded the way I knew she would. Saying, "lol selling yourself out oh polina i love you" Now if you knew Gracie, you knew this response was coming. Gracie is a very outgoing girl. A girl you could always go to for help. She's a bit of a wild child, but that's only because her personality is so great that living a larger way of life is the only way to live. So when she told me this, I began to think about how I have been advertising my blog.

As thoughts rushed through my mind, I realized, even though making it to fame means so much to me, having this blog help someone matters so much more. I really want people to know that they aren't alone. That even if they can't find someone they can talk to in person, at least I am here, will all my contact info, and I will be more than happy to help. If I don't promote my blog, how will they know I'm here? I have been writing for 49 days, and so far not that many people have come up to talk to me that don't already know me. Even though this is the case, I am 100% positive that there are people out there that would come to me, if they did know about me.

Anyways, moving on. If you read the title of this entry, you saw that I am going to be sharing a secret with you today. I originally told myself that I would only tell the people close to me about this, but then I realized, if I want to write this blog...I have to be 100% open. I have to trust the world around me. On November 18, I will be having plastic surgery. Nothing too major, just getting breast implants. Here is the story behind what pushed me over the edge and made me decide I must get this done.

It was either June or July of this year, I can't really remember which one, I think July though. I was at screen on the green at Piedmont park with my friend, her boyfriend, and my boyfriend. We were sitting on a blanket, waiting for the movie to start, just talking and having fun. Next thing I know, Daniel, her boyfriend, said to me, "Hey, I can see your nipple." I was so embarrassed. Truth is, my breasts are so small, and even different sizes, that bras really don't fit right. My bra covered one nipple, just not the other. I knew then that I had to have it fixed. A small part of me was kinda hurt that he brought it up in front of everyone, but the other part of me didn't care too much because he is a close friend. So..that's my secret. Hope you all understand my reasoning behind it. Here are two questions you might be thinking. 1. Is this a self confidence issue? You bet it is! 2. Am I praying that I might feel a little better about myself? Hell yes.